Jhola Clutter

What do you carry with you when you go out?

Probably your cell-phone, keys and wallet. And perhaps a jacket, coz it’s cold these days. And if you’re a woman, then add other paraphernalia like lipstick, moisturizer, compact, and so on and so forth.

I carry my jhola. What’s a jhola, you ask?

Ahem...

Leme try.

It’s a sling bag kinda thing that you wear on your shoulder. Something that initially journalists used to carry, and then it started coming in a variety of colors and artwork so it became a huge hit with the teenagers as well. While khadi dominated the scene then, now jholas are found in every style .

That was the easy part. Now comes the challenge. Describing what it means to me, and unfolding its contents and uses.

My jhola’s an extension of my personality. (Ya, I know I said this blog is also one of those. But you see, everything I do is very ME...) So, my jhola - I can’t live without it. Anywhere I go, my jhola goes with me. For the last 2+ years.

The market’s full of shops and boutiques that sell trendy ladies bags in all colors and sizes. I’m amazed at my Sister who recently returned from a shopping spree with a Dalmatian-shaded purse and huge black handbag! Eww... Not my type by a long shot...

Come to think of it, I cannot remember ever having been an out-and-out feminine creature at any point in my life. I have those few recollections when I have enjoyed getting decked up in finery for some occasions and celebrations (like my sister's wedding for instance, when jeans and tops were forsaken for heavy brocades and expensive silks). But otherwise, ask my friends and colleagues, and they’ll scratch their heads when asked to recall the last time I wore a Punjabi dress.

I’ve always been a tomboy. No nakhras-jhatkas for me. Right from my no-nonsense hairstyle to my clothes to my mannerisms. (That was the case until fairly recently. Then, God knows how and when and why, I changed my ways and started buying more lady-like dresses and acting more womanish. Grew my hair, started wearing earrings. Some crazy hormonal change, I guess... Anyway, I’m not complaining. And from what I can see, no one else is, either!)

But hey, weren’t we talking about my jhola?

Right, so my jhola is my inseparable possession. What’s in it? Well, not much. It holds my purse and keys, my lip-balm , Uhh... ya a pen at times, and that’s about it.

Oh! My cell-phone (how can I forget that?!) That’s all.

(That IS all, I said...)

The best part about carrying a jhola is that it’s trendy and practical at the same time. I can wear it diagonally as I walk fast to get someplace, and I can hold it fashionably by the side as I hang out at a coffee bar. When you’re lost among strangers, a jhola gives you the perfect excuse to dive in and search fervidly for nothing at all for a precious 5 minutes. And when you’re trying to act cool, you can finger the strap and just look around...

A jhola NEVER lets you down. Trust me.

The moment I put my hand in my jhola (just about 15 times an hour), you know I’m spinning in the abyss of mystery. On no account can I find what I want. If I’m looking for my cell, and if I’m searching for my keys, out peeps the lip- balm. It’s basically something like Ali Baba’s potli (did he have one? Or was it someone else? Whatever... I can dimly vision “Potli baba ki” flashing on DD = Doordarshan every Sunday morning. And remember “Gucche” and “Chitrahaar”? Good ol’ days!)

Uh huh... Ranting and digressing again... But the point is, that jhola’s the way to go. You can carry it to work and parties, and you can wear it on jeans and salwars. Jholas look good in pink and yellow. Girls at 10 and women at 40, jholas aren't a burden on the pocket, and neither on your shoulder. In short, I’ve thought it out, and I’ve given it the ISI mark, so go ahead and get one (if you don’t have one already). I think they look better on women, but you guys can get it for your girls and try them in fronta the mirror, just to see if they suit you... (Dunno much about metrosexual and other preferences. No offence.)

Having said that, I must say I just got a new jhola/bag ..Its my Valentine Gift and its so pretty :) Thank you Love !!

Have a good week, buddies!

Tired of Sales / Customer Care Calls???

Hi!

If you're irritated with those annoying sales and customer care calls, then you've come to the right place, baby... Here are ten ways to stop those credit card sales, mobile companies, insurance calls from bugging you:

Hilarious!! Enjoy...

1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you. (!!!)

2. Tell the telemarketer (seductively) that you are busy, but you would love to talk about some interesting personal stuff and ask for his/her home telephone number so you can call back at night.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. (!!!)

4. Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your/somebody else's 5-year old child. (!!!)

6. If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems............." Blah-blah-blah (Reminds me of Ghanta Singh!!!)

7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is MALE. (Vice-versa for females - "Hey Deepak! Kidhar hai sale??")

9. Tell the company call centre guy to call on your office number, and give him the rival company's call centre number.

10. Start taking the telemarketer's interview : "So, how many kids do you have? Are you married? What's your favorite food?......"

Now isn't THAT smart?!!!

Try it and leme know!

I've got Lal Bal, Pal !

Breaking News!!

I streaked my hair... Had them streaked at a parlour I mean... (It's also called highlighting, for those who don't know.) Which means I now have strands of red hair (not the fire-van red, it's a maroonish kinda tinge,similar to this picture ) on my crown . It ain't done as abundantly as I'd planned, but no sweat - I'm happy! :-)

Waise I am a very simple girl... And I feel all the more frugal when I see women around me dressing up for college everyday. (How will lining and kohl-ing your eyes and painting your lips help you be efficient and effective ) Of course, I tend to go overboard with my minimalism; even for parties, all I do is apply some earthy kajal and I'm all set, even as my gal-buddies blow-dry and iron their hair, paint their barn with foundation and rouge, color their eyes in dazzling blues and pinks, and outline their glossy lips. Whew! Each to their own; I inherited my no-nonsense-no-makeup attitude from my mum. But well, she is an angel to look at, whereas I could do with some help...

Anywaysssssssss...

While the hairdresser was Loreal-ing my tresses, I glanced through the numerous issues of Femina, Filmfare and other mags stacked on the counter. I read Sallu's cool-dude comments on his paintings and his hostility towards Shahrukh, I checked out fashion scares Mithun-da and Sonam Kapoor, and I read gossip about Hrithik and Barbara (Kites), Shahid and Amrita Rao (I thought she was going to get married and happily quit acting), etc.

I set hands on a Woman's Era magazine (November issue, I think), and staring at me out of the front cover were the words - HOW TO GET YOUR MAN TO TALK (or something to that effect.)

For ages I have been pondering over this very subject - why men gel so well and chat for hours with their buddies and colleagues and neighbors and roomies, but recoil every time their wife/girlfriend asks them to "talk" to her.

So, this article seemed God-sent, and I glanced through the words I've murmured a million times : Why men consider monosyllabic replies and grunts as perfect conjugal conversations, why they find nothing wrong in reading the newspaper as their disgruntled lady makes their chai / coffee in the kitchen, why a women's expression of her feelings or need to resolve relationship problems bores and irritates and annoys them, and so on and so forth.


Of course, the article did not answer these queries in anything more than a gender differences way; the usual "genders are wired differently" solution. However, reading the statements there assured me that I am not the only one who broods over these topics. The writer went on to relate how you can get a man to talk... And these ways are : just sit with him quietly (ahem!) and observe/understand as he goes about his tasks and activities, ask him about cars/bikes/politics/sports/gadgets or anything else that he's passionate about, avoid talking about his family, and the sort.


Nothing akin to rocket science, and all quite do-able, but my question is HOW LONG? You can do something a few times, and it's not unnatural to expect that the other person will also go a little out of the way to ease things... Taali ek haath se nahi bajti dost! You can rave on and on about gender differences and not head anywhere, and you can both understand and try to make things wonderful... Not impossible, right?!!

Anywayssss..My sister was looking like a Star on her wedding, everything went well . Most people from my school, college and family circle was happy with the Preparations they gave the Newly- Wed couple there blessings .
Good for them. Not good for me coz I hate these family dos. Compound it with the fact that there are horny old men lurking about and trying to grab a handful of you as they stare at your boobs and talk about stupid things. Grrr... It's all I can do to stop myself from slapping them... And then when some woman comes and starts inquiring about your profession as if she is planning to propose a billion-dollar business deal...

Time out.

Happy weekend!

Wedding Traditions Around the World

Here are some cute wedding traditions from around the world. Found them on the web... Enjoy!

GERMANY : Stealing the Bride
At her wedding reception, the bride is stolen by the best man, who then carries her away to a local pub. The groom has to search for them and pay for all their drinks when he finds them!

(Now that's on helluva idea! Hic hic :D )

GREECE : Baby Rolling
A baby is rolled on the newly-weds' bed. This is believed to enhance fertility and happiness in the new marriage.

(Poor baby!! :-P )

IRELAND : Tokens of Love
An Irish man often gifts his ladylove a bracelet made of human hair. If she accepts and wears it, it shows she is linked to him for life. Some men also give their beloved a Harvest Knot made of straw (shown alongside), decorated with flowers or bells, to wear in their hair or around their neck.

(The second idea is so romantic!)

ORKNEY (A group of islands near Scotland) : The Blackening
In Orcadian weddings, the groom's friends ambush him and blacken him with a mixture of flour, treacle and feathers. The idea to make him look as drunk and messy as possible! He is paraded around town in the back of a truck, while his friends make a din so that everybody sees the groom's sorry state. The parade usually ends at the sea for washing up.

(LOL... Fun for everyone except the groom!)

RUSSIA : Head of the Household
The bride's mother hands the newly married couple a loaf of bread at the wedding reception. The one who can take the largest bite from the loaf will be the head of the household.

(Not fair! Men, with their massive mouths and disgusting eating habits, have an advantage. Boo!!)

ALASKA : Buying the Bride
The village elders must first approve a proposed marriage, after which the groom's family spends the next year arranging for the payment for the bride. They seek help from their relatives and assemble a house full of gifts. Once the bride's family accepts the offering, the groom must work for her family for one year; he has to do everything, right from hunting to chores around the house.

(Now that's one wonderful custom. Serves you men right, making the women run about the house!!)

ITALY : The Evil Eye
To ward off the evil eye the groom must carry a piece of iron in his pocket and the bride must wear a veil. At the end of the wedding day, in Southern regions, the couple shatters a glass or vase. The number of pieces predicts the number of years they will be happily married.

(Anything that helps.)

CHINESE : The Tea Ceremony
The couple kneels before their parents and ask for permission to marry.

(Decent... But hardly fantastic...)


You got any to share??