Oh Bother!

You thought I was weak,
I don’t seem to be so anymore…
Does that bother you?

You took your call by walking outta my life,
Not caring how I felt, or how I’d survive,
Now that I’ve found greater happiness in your absence…
Does that bother you?

You believed I was lonely,
Yet the exuberance in my league is deafening…

Does that bother you?

You were the centre of my universe,
And you threw it all away,
My having decided to not punish myself any longer…
Does that bother you?

You considered me understanding and different,
And came close to me, saying we were meant to be…

Does that bother you?

Memories of times bygone linger in my mind,
I’m sure they’re in your trash bins rotting away,
As I create moments of joy with those around you…
Does that bother you?

As I watch you stroll and smirk,
I believe you’re happy or at least pretending…

Does that bother you?

I still cringe when I feel your eyes on me,
Your voice and presence make me go insane,
For all my moving on, I still keep coming back…
Does that bother you?

It bothers me…

And your being bothered or not,
Doesn’t matter anymore.

Coz I know I’m meant to be happy,
And I know I deserve better;
You lost something precious that you didn’t value,
And trust me… it shall someday bother you…
When I lie cosy and happy with the one that treasures me.

I promise I will.
You… but who cares?

Beautiful World

Someone who has tremendous knowledge, a good dressing sense, a great job, amazing salary and perks, a car and luxuries despite being humble and simple, unbelievable modesty, sensitivity and direction, humanity and patience… and an inferiority complex.


Someone who asks a million questions and appears funny and silly, and is still loved for who she is, and her honesty and forthrightness.


Someone who thinks he’s the alpha male, the most intelligent of them all, and acts like a prince even though he’s fake inside and outside, and people know it and see through his artificiality… and he’s still unconcerned and unaffected, regaling himself and exploiting others in his make-believe perfect world.


Someone who has a terrible destiny, and only one hand that can save, and he ends up biting the very hand that tries to pull him up from his deep grave… time and again.


Someone who thinks she is being used and abused, not aware of the fact that this “being used” is what gives her happiness and contentment... that without it, she would feel unneeded, unhappy and aimless.


Someone who can’t figure out why he is mistreated and ignored, and he behaves like he doesn’t care when he actually does. He isn’t strong enough to inquire or seek help, or to change even… but he still cares for those that mistreat and ignore him…


Someone who hides his insecurities by being mean to others, he dreams of being better than others by criticising and ridiculing the very people that love him…


Someone who has a pure heart and a fabulous sense of humour, he is smart as he is helpful, and yet his path is strewn with difficulties and setbacks. His tolerance and strength is tremendous... maybe the calm before the storm.


Someone who loves the sound of her own voice and has an opinion on everything, she is clueless about how she impacts others negatively, even as she carries a hundred gifts within her that get shrouded by her ugly words and tone…


Someone who has a deep understanding of people, relations and interactions… and yet can’t sustain a single relationship. Despite all his understanding and clarity of thought, he was alone. Not that he minded...


Someone who wants to be loved, appreciated, popular and idealized… and can’t unravel why she is forsaken as those lesser move ahead and achieve what for her appears unattainable.


Someone who abuses and insults people generously, his confidence and uncomplicated straightforwardness is often a slap in the face. How folks thought about him was not on the top 20 things he'd worry about. His goal was clear, his intentions were anything but tentative, and he revelled in his image - be it complimentary or the opposite. Commendable guts!!



It’s a beautiful world…



Made further gorgeous by many varied lovely people :-)



Like you and me!!



Look for the beauty around you. It abounds!!

You can’t make me hate him!

No matter what he does, no matter what he doesn’t do.


I know he’s mine. And he loves me more than anyone else ever could.


He watches out for me, takes care of me, and nurtures me when even I don’t need him.

He backs me whenever I do anything, and he forgives me a million times.


I owe it to him.


Our relation’s just like any other except for one fact.

We fight, we argue, we laugh, we talk, we abuse, we work together, we cry, we bitch and we appreciate... Just like others…


But we never let go.


I stick to him, and he stands by me all the friggin’ time.

Yeah, we have our share of tiffs where I ask him to keep off, calling him names and telling him he’s a no-good-sucker and I’m better off without him. That I don’t need him, and I would manage on my own, thank you very much.


He doesn’t sulk, he doesn’t justify or shout back. He just smiles.


And I say, “Grrr… why don’t you just FO…?!” and walk away.


A couple of days later, I find myself back in his arms.


He doesn’t call me, I don’t ask to be called. It just happens. I turn to him, and he quietly embraces me as if we’d always been that way. With the same smile on his face that I’d seen when I left.


Funny how his smiles appear to mock at times and convey strength on other occasions.


Really, I’m a fool to even judge his intentions.


He’s ALWAYS right.


And the craziest bit is, even if he seems to be wrong, situations modify themselves to prove him right! He can make miracles happen... and you can do nothing to stop what he bids...


Some conspiracy, I tell you. I don’t know how he does it.


Even if I cajole or fight back, he doesn’t do anything that would prove difficult or critical for me, either immediately or in the long run. He’s got a keen eye for detail and he can see far ahead than the most reliable prophet. Even if it means he’ll have to put up with my hatred and sorrow and anger, he still does what is right for me, not just going by what I want.


“Thank you” and “sorry” are words that I sometimes utter, but I know he doesn’t need to hear them. My feelings matter to him, but not at the cost of my well-being. His dedication and loyalty to me are extraordinary.

Call it faith, call it being stupid.


can’t say our relation is invisible; I can sense it, and so can others who care to look.


It’s beautiful, this thing we have.


I don’t know what I’d do without him.


Really.


And having known him so long, and so well, there’s no way we’re ever gonna part.


Come what may.


I love you


Yours forever,

Chaadni Raatein

Are you afraid of death? Do you not want to die? How is it knowing you’re going to die someday? What if you knew when you were going to die?


To answer my questions myself – no, I am not afraid of death. At least not death as a concept. Sure, I don’t want to die in a slow, painful way. I’d prefer the quick, instantaneous types where I don’t even realise its pack up time…


I don’t not want to die. I don’t not want to live either. I know death is inevitable. As mum always reminds me, the time for each one to be born, to marry and to die is fixed. Your time of demise is finalised the very second you’re born. So, I am aware its going to happen, and as I have no regrets in life, I don’t mind saying goodbye when the time comes… Frankly, I don’t know if I will be ready when it actually happens or if all my wishes will have been fulfilled leaving me content and happy. But I do know that I won’t curse god or beg to live. I’ll accept it gracefully.

If I knew when I was going to die, I’d definitely freak out a little and mark it on my calendar!


Before the destined hour, I would make all the telephone calls, visits and donations that I need to make, and joyfully tell everyone that I love them. I’ll thank them for making my living moments cheerful, memorable ones and I’ll also ask for forgiveness if I’ve intentionally or unintentionally hurt them. And last but not the least, I’ll tell them I’m going away forever and not to miss me too much. And hey, don’t not miss me either :-)

It is one thing to wait for it in its own sweet time, and entirely another to see it coming, with as much certainty as night follows day. I speculated whether I would jump into the sea and just stop swimming, letting the waves take me where they may and finally drown me when they were done playing.

I had no answer then. The answer fails me now too.


But I do know this. If I ever happen to be disabled beyond repair or hospitalised for life, I don’t want that life. Please kill me. Euthanasia might be a crime. But I cannot expose myself to pain and others to inconvenience for a few hours / days / weeks of laboured breathing. I will not have needles stuck into me, so what if the absence thereof cuts short my life by a few months? I’d rather live a short, healthy, independent life with respect than a lengthy one that is a trouble for me and others alike.


Oh, and make sure my eyes are donated. I want someone to be able to see. To understand what colours are, to know what beauty is, to watch playful puppies and the sultry sunrise... to feel blessed…


Just like what I felt when I looked outta the window that night in my house…

Choosing the Right Choice

Tony wanted to get her home painted. And she was in a quandary.

Shocking pink or dull grey?

A colour that would stun everyone and prove exciting or a colour that’s look mellow yet stay longer?

It was a tough choice.

What would be better – she wondered… Looking at an attractive shade that frustrated her by peeling at the edges?

Or being within the confines of an insipid hue that did not wear off years after it was painted?

Would the exhilaration of the shocking pink dim out in the following months?

Maybe the gray that seemed monotonous now would make her comfortable in the years to come…

Sometimes decisions about simple things weren’t as simple as they appeared.


Just like relationships.


Boys want girlfriends that are “shocking pink” but not many of them would end up marrying them. Conjugal bliss is better guaranteed with girls that are “dull grey”. Or at least that’s what popular opinion claims.

Girls… I’m really not sure. I’d like to believe that they desire a lifelong partner and accordingly choose a boyfriend/husband. However, given the twenty-first century, modernization and rising infidelity, I shall remain non-committal on this.

Sometimes decisions about simple things weren’t as simple as they appeared…

What happened then?

I don’t know…

But I do hope that whatever she decided has brought her happiness and contentment.

After all, god never sent us down here to be unhappy.

He cares… for me… for you… for each one of us…

And destiny has things in store for every one of us.

Unfortunately, we only know what’s meant to be in hindsight. If only we knew whether our lives had shades of pink or grey, we’d be able to plan and act accordingly.

On the other hand, it is because we don’t know that our lives have a tinge of adventure and variety.


So, what’s your call - shocking pink or dull grey?


Life’s colourful :-)

And confusing…


May the lord be with you!


I definitely am…

The Price of Love

”

“Roar”, said the demon,
"I’m going to imprison you,
Neither friends nor family can you see,
All you shall have here, is me.

With me can you talk,
With me you’ll live alone,
I promise I’ll make you smile,
And to wipe your tears, I’ll do all that’s pure and vile.

But no one else can you call upon,
Though you command all that your heart wants,
Except for other humans, coz I can’t share you,
You’re too precious, too pretty, I can’t let you go.

I can’t risk you enjoying with another,
And refusing to return to me,
And even if you do, your heart will not be mine,
And I’d die rather than see you unhappy...

No! You must remain in this cage, this golden cage,
And I promise to keep you satisfied.”

"Ok”, said the princess,
"I love you, and I recognize how much you love me,
I don’t need anything else, except to be here with you.”
Alas, the foolish girl,
So innocent and short-sighted.

Life is funny and weird,
And our needs and desires even more so...
What seems so right one moment, looks ridiculous at another time,
And what one so deeply craves, turns out to be a curse.

"I miss my home”, the dainty lass said,
"It’s been so many weeks,
I want to see those that loved me,
And knew me much before we met...
I shall be back in a day’s time, I promise
Let me go, and I’ll return soon.”

The demon trembled, not a whisper escaped his lips,
After all, how long can one hold the clouds, the wind, the river...
He knew this would happen someday.

How could he refuse her, the one he lived and breathed for,
"Just a day”, she murmured, “A day, and not a second more.”
His eyes glistened with unwept tears
As he held her close, and felt her warmth,
He couldn’t let those drops flow,
Coz his princess’ last reflection was in them.

His heart wailed as he nodded,
“Ok my sweetheart,
I am your slave and I must obey.”

When one wishes something,
How fruitful is it to refuse?
Isn’t thinking it and doing it nearly the same?
Wouldn’t it sow the seed of sorrow and hurt?

"I love you,” he uttered, “always will”
Her hood fluttering in the breeze,
She disappeared over the horizon.

A day passed, and the princess thought,
"I guess another won’t hurt.”
And thus a week flew.

The princess enjoyed her new company,
Though she missed her crazy lover,
"I’ll surely leave tomorrow,” she kept telling herself,
But aren’t promises made to be broken?

She thought of him each day,
And how he worshipped her,
As the new month drew near,
She realized life wouldn’t be the same without him.

"I must go,” she said,
As her family bid adieu,
With arms open she flew,
To embrace the one who could die for her,
Or kill if need be.

The castle echoed her calls when she spoke his name,
She ran all about looking for her lover,
Until she reached the dungeon dark.

There sat the demon,
His lips curled in a moan,
"He died the instant you were beyond sight,” sighed a friendly stork.
"He asked me to wait till you came, so I could give you this.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks,
The princess unfolded the note,
"I love you, always will.
And I can’t bear my heart that beats without you...

Don’t Know …

I don’t know what to title this post.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know if anything needs to be done.

Maybe I’m just acting up, going on my usual over-analyzing trip in overdrive.

I don’t know if it’s ill health that’s pulling down my spirits, or lack of excitement in my mundane life.

College, home, a given set of friends, a given set of activities and plans… And that’s my life summarized accurately.

Ya ya, I know that’s what most people also live each day.

But the point is I am restless… And I would like it to be different…

It’s slightly awkward writing all this here, coz now the readership of my blog extends to more people than I initially would have expected or liked. And yet, I gotta write this… Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. I just have to…

My life seems empty.

there are times when I feel so lost and lonely that I wana scream like a maniac and run away.

Equally true is the fact that I start jumping animatedly at the teeniest of situations and possibilities.

I pride myself at being able to experience these extreme emotions – it shows I’m human, as I always say. I don’t control my joy, and I don’t hide my anger. If I’m sad it shows on my face and if I’m thoughtful, its evident as well. No scope of miscommunication or doubt there.

However…

(Yeah, there’s always a “however”, isn’t there…? Life…)

I’m a terrific person, if I may modestly and truthfully admit. Most people call me the girl next door - unpretentious, approachable and warm. My liveliness endears me to most, and makes some envious. And yet, I want to be on good terms with everyone. Life’s too short to be mean or angry with anyone forever.

What also has a bearing is that I look at things from varied perspectives, so I can easily place myself in someone’s shoes and look at how angles change and affect. The flipside of that is… I care more about others’ emotions than my own.

My desire to make no one sad, my need to not upset anyone, makes me do things that I’d not do if I were to be me. You could call it growing up, you could term it fake. The reality is… I don’t know what it is. I don’t even know if I ought to change that. I do voice my opinion when I want, but I readily succumb to the other person’s response, without sticking to my guns and stubbornly holding onto my position.

How do I feel about it? Well, I think I’m being very mature and kind. That makes me feel pleased and proud. But what also comes to mind is that people might not take it the same way as I do, and I don’t want to be perceived negatively. Positive evaluation and tangible feedback are two EXTREMELY significant terms in my life.

I’m not sure if I’m making sense to you. But honestly, I think I’m making sense to myself, let’s leave it at that.

That’s only part of the story. The bit about not really giving precedence to myself and worrying about others.

The other part is… I don’t know where I’m heading. And I don’t mean with reference to my career

. I know exactly well how that shall turn out. Besides, it’s not that complicated or harrowing.

I have this constant restlessness within me, which I don’t know how to tackle or ease. I don’t know what it is.

I genuinely have no regrets in life, though I can’t help feeling less or more blessed, as compared to others, on various occasions.

I don’t know what it is that I truly want. Like someone asked me the other day, what’s my ambition? I don’t have one. Does everyone need to have one? I’m living my life as well as I can, and I’m letting destiny take me wherever it intends. I’m adapting and adjusting where required, and I’m taking a call on things that I want and could do without. I refuse to follow what the others say or do, and I make my own choices and live by them.

What bothers me, is that my flexibility is making me less me. The person who used to have a fixed list of expectations from some folks now shrugs off anger and frustration in a laidback, devil-may-care manner when her needs are unmet. Is that nice? It’s definitely helping me cope better with those folks, but I still feel ignored and not taken care of. I feel like I’m not important or priority enough.

I express this to the concerned individuals, but then I ask myself if it really matters. For instance, I would be happy if you contact me ten times a day, and anything below five is criminal. So, if it’s not feasible for you to connect that often with me, let me know, but my expectation remains. And yet, when you contact me, I will feel like you’re doing it out of a sense of obligation, and I realise there’s really nothing we have to talk about, so why fool each other and waste time, just because my expectation says so.

You see?

It’s stupid, but it’s a dilemma nevertheless. One that causes me confusion and annoyance.

I want to be the cool dame who stays unruffled under any circumstances. But wouldn’t that mean killing the vivaciousness in me? And yet, if that makes life simpler for me, should I refrain from adopting this way of life? What attitude should one choose – the one that makes things easier, or the one that you’re born with?

I don’t know.

“Chalta hai” or “jaise chal raha hai, chalne de” has never been my maxim. I strive for perfection and desire the same from people, whatever their potential. Inspite of that, I see myself now saying things like chhod na / chuck it” or “naseeb / fate”.

People look upon me as intelligent and sensible, someone who gives good advice and shows the right direction even in critical times. People find it easy to share things with me, be it the most outrageous jokes or the deepest of secrets. I feel thankful for it all, for the faith and closeness.

And then, I see myself so lost… In need of a listening ear and caring shoulder…

Not that I don’t have any, but at times they are not the ones I want…

I see others living their shallow, superficial lives and merrily touting it as the best.

And I see myself, unsure, unhappy, unable to understand…

Am I a wreck?

I don’t know…

I just feel so lost…

Would a vacation help - a long sabbatical to someplace I’ve never been to, far away from friends and family? How about cutting and colouring my hair? Maybe a tattoo would do me good… Or a new hobby – swimming, Spanish, salsa? (is it a coincidence they all start with the letter “S”?)

I don’t know.

Over and out.

And life goes on...

I cry myself to sleep this night
I don’t know what I’m waiting for,
Seeking peace and a little joy
Neither jewels and luxuries nor.

This day is not the same as I wearily tread,
Till dusk from dawn,
The days of adventure and reckless abandon,
Are so long gone.

Had I been a tad more desperate,
I’d surrender myself to God
I’d have given up on my existence,
No matter if it’s craven or odd...

I know no one’s content,
That nobody leads a life ideal,
But somehow being in my shoes,
The agony is much real.

I appear to have lost all hope,
As wrongdoers bask in fun and bliss,
Things that bother me no end,
Civilization seems to allow this!

As I rant on and crib,
I feel so absurd and frivolous,
I live through days dreary,
And sob through nights delirious.

Don’t get me wrong,
I ain’t complaining;
I’m sharing life with you
And for action or contentment, waiting...

When You Know…

They were the best of friends and lovers. Both of them knew each other inside out. However, she being a girl was extremely sensitive to the smallest of issues and he being the guy could never quite figure out why she got so worked up about seemingly trivial stuff. Fights were plentiful, but they always got back with each other knowing fully well that they could not bear to be apart. There were many times when he went out of his way and nature to accommodate her needs and wishes, and she tried her best to be as calm and flexible as he desired. Time passed, and they went from being buddies to being soul-mates.

A few months ago, she would not have been quite so tolerant. Time and tide can make the hardest of us malleable and patient. Even he, known for being a truant and miscreant at the most opportune moments, had surprised folks who knew him, by being sensitive and determined. They both needed to make this work. And it showed.

It showed when he spoke to her. It showed when he looked at her, a wide naughty grin plastered on his face. It showed when she saw him, often as he returned the gaze. It showed when they walked hand in hand and did not say a word. It showed when they spoke about things informational, emotional and critical. It showed when she spoke about him to others in the family and friend circle. It showed when he held her and refused to let go. It showed when she did the wackiest of things just to make him smile. It showed in a million ways.

First love? No, not for either of them. Love at first sight? Not for her, at least.

She often thought of why and how she had managed to like him in the first place, forget accepting him in her life as a deserving and able partner. He was not perfect in any way and she knew that she wouldn’t recommend him to any other girl for sure. He had done the craziest of things and he had an opinion about everything, frequently based on nothing but stubbornness. What, then, had moved her to believe that it was this guy she wanted to spend her life with? She knew for a fact that there would be tough times ahead. But did that deter her from saying “I do”? She didn’t think so.

After all, she thought she wasn’t as beautiful as his previous girlfriends. She also knew her temper was tough to tackle, and his love for her was true. (How did she know that? She just KNEW.) She knew she felt special and safe with him, and he was trying to be what she wanted him to be. She knew it would take time, and she was willing to give him his fair chance. Why? THAT she didn’t know...

He, too, had his own misgivings about whether things were going the way they ought to be going. Were they really meant to be? Was there being together a mistake or chance? Was their life going to be disastrous once they took their vows? He had so many dreams - what would happen to them once she became a part of his life? Was she really what she showed, or was it all a façade? … Somehow he thought he knew the answers, but that did not relieve the anxiety or resolve the issue.


Yet, he knew that what he felt for her, he had never felt before. Of the many girls who had been with him, he knew that it was she he would miss if things didn’t work out this time. She challenged and annoyed him in myriad ways, but he only loved her all the more for it. The same confidence about her that had attracted him to her also became a pain in the wrong place when she turned against him for some reason (that he thought was mostly silly and unreasonable). And yet… he knew that together they would be ok.

Neither of them wanted it any other way.

Are soul-mates supposed to be perfect for each other? Are they supposed to fill each other’s gaps or are they supposed to fit together in the same mould? Do opposites attract or do birds of a feather flock together? Some answers are not easy, nor are some decisions.

You just have to KNOW what you want… and what you can’t do without…

What would you regret not having in your life… and what would you miss till your last breath…

And once you think about it… you just KNOW…

Do you?

(Note: This is not the story of Marshal and Lily!)

Such is life...

A phonebook and cell memory full of contacts,
But no one to call when you desperately want to speak your heart out.
Such is life...

A million bucks to spend, and no friend to blow it with,
When you had that someone, you were too busy trying to make an extra buck.
Such is life...

At times I think homosexual relations make sense,
The depth of emotions of each gender can only b understood by another of the same kind.
We fight over our differences and keep expecting to be understood.
Such is life…

The very son who dotes on the mother,
Becomes devoted to the wife in days so few.
The mom still prays for him.
Such is life…

You crib about the bad things,
And then you adjust to living in situations worse.
Your optimism and energy disappear with time.
Such is life…

When everything is wrong the smallest thing brings delight,
Something that goes unnoticed in rosier times,
Becomes the single reason to live for.
Such is life…

Good things don’t really happen to good people,
Though we would sure like to believe so.
The wicked and wayward laugh more often.
Such is life…

You smile for the world,
And show you really don’t care.
But you nurture the hurts within you…
This is life...

Happy New Year :)

Ordained By Order

Did I tell you I saw Eat, Pray and Love (referred to as EPL henceforth on my blog) directed by Ryan Murphy ? It’s a fantastic movie, guys. I mean girls.

(Guys may or may not like it for the simple reason that the genders think, feel and expect differently. And more often than not, the sexes just LOVE being on opposite sides of the discussion. Sometimes only to prove that they are unlike each other, and can never be like each other. Fair enough reason.)

(Or so I presume.)


While watching EPL, there were so many times when I thought it was somewhere related to Me! Especially the paragraphs when the protagonist feels she has control issues, her tryst with depression and loneliness, her random insights and careless abandon, little joys coupled with frustrating worries and sorrows. Have been thinking of it for ages, but procrastinating… Waiting for a partner, dealing with a busy schedule, stuff like that… Soon soon…


What’s the movie about? It’s the story of a woman who travels Italy, India and Indonesia over the period of a year in order to put back the pieces of her life married and scarred by a divorce and broken relationship. I know it doesn’t sound too innovative, but the narration is superb and mesmerizing.


I’m not gonna recommend it to you, though, coz I have a feeling that I have liked it more than you would. It’s like those movies, you know, where your evaluation of the entertainment quotient is impacted by the reviews you have heard before.

Now that I have introduced EPL, I’d like to take my identification with it

About reasons, and how we may or may not know about their logic or existence.

I always enjoy sitting next to the driver while going for long drives.(But love to drive someday)

Why am I telling you this? To let you know that I like being NOT in control, and leaving all the decisions and responsibility to someone else who is intelligent and capable. Makes me feel pampered and relaxed. Not having to worry about the brakes, traffic, accelerator, clutch, reversing and parking. Just look around at the people and trees zooming past, enjoying the breeze on my face, with my arm strung casually on the window ledge...

However, I’m just as quick to give up my passivity and assume control when required. Leadership roles beckon me, and I love them for granting me the opportunity to prove myself, protect and guide people, take risks and learn, garner praise and envy.

Well, backseat driving is horrible when I’m steering a vehicle, but impossible to give up when I’m sailing on anyone else’s ship. Change lanes, speed up, show off or get cranky – and you’ll hear from me, Mr. Driver.

WHY am I telling you this?

To tell you that I have control issues. Things have almost ALWAYS gone my way. I have made my own decisions, done my own thing and taken care of my own challenges. Be it education, career, relationships, or anything else. And that has naturally made me resistant to being dependent and dominated. In a woman, this is often not appreciated. But hey, that’s how I am. I don’t know about Nature (genetics), but Nurture (environment and experiences) made me that way.

And you know what, I am so glad life turned out the way it did. (Though I didn’t always think this way.)

Thank you, Lord.

Now I think about it all, and I can’t be grateful enough that all these things occurred, with or without my volition. Then, I fought with god, people and circumstances. But now I understand. Things are not always clear at first glance. Things don’t always look right when you’re in the midst of muck. But when you step out and think about it in retrospect, you will realize that things happened for the best.

(Unless you really messed up big time and made a mistake that’s irredeemable.)

Don’t get disoriented and distressed because of the blur. Give the haze time to fade. (But don’t wait so long that all ways to set things right are lost; time is of the essence, remember?)

So what if it’s a cliché? Its true - whatever happens, happens for the best.

And you may not always understand or agree with the reason, but hey… wait and watch, you’ll turn out fine.

Trust me.

Karma Konnection

It’s said that souls are born with human bodies after they commit a given number of good deeds. It’s supposed to be a blessing of the highest order to be born human. And more so, if you’re born in India. Didn’t know that, did you?


Additionally, some people know exactly what they will do/be, either at someone else’s behest or their own vision. So, I see folks who are sure they will be doctors or housewives and nothing else, and I see people who want to travel the world for as long as they live. And it’s lovely to have that knowledge. At least I find it exciting and inspiring.


But I know of other people who would rather discover their calling as they traipse their varied paths. They say knowing beforehand what one is born to do isn’t really motivating. Rather, they’d prefer to experiment and try different things before they freeze on a particular line to pursue as a career/purpose. To explore and identify for themselves their reason for being, as opposed to being born with the erudite information. Or having it thrust upon them, where they have no choice…


Even my schoolmates and peers who knew they wanted to be engineers and accordingly molded their careers in the most apt ways. B.E. then MS abroad followed by jobs and weddings. Life set.


While I was open to checking out the options and then making my selection. So, I thought about going in for Commerce .At least it’s my personal choice and I won’t regret it later. And if I do, I’ll blame nobody but myself.


So, which life is better? The one where you know, or the one where you don’t?


Is it better to meet your soul-mate right in school and stay together for life, or to meet a range of people from all walks of life and then choose your partner?


Is it preferable to work in your family business and go the secure way your ancestors trod, or to go from one company to the next, searching for the job where your heart, growth and interest lies?


Providence makes about 60% of the decision. The rest is upto you. And 40% isn’t peanuts.

I remember I’ve asked mum several times why we’re referred to as masters of our own actions when we really are just slaves to our destiny and past actions. How can we possibly claim that WE did something, wouldn’t it be more apt that LUCK made us do that thing? That it was pre-destined to be done that way? That the Almighty wrote our naseeb – every event and action in it, the moment we were born on this earth?


There are days when everything is just so right. We wake up in the morning feeling cheerful and relaxed for no reason, and we welcome the day with arms wide open. And as we live through the day, our spirits continue to soar high irrespective of the ups and downs we face. There are also days that are just the opposite. We wake up morose, and whatever happens throughout the day only serves to annoy us further and drag us deeper into the dumps. Who do we hold responsible for this? Who do we turn to, to change what is taking place?


Let me know if you know.


Cheers, and good luck with your ambitions!

I am me .

As I watch the waves I think,
About the person I am,
So what if I feel a particular way?
Am I to hold it back like a dam?

The sandy beach reminds me,
Life isn't always the same;
Some of the sand jumps for the tide,
And some remains stable and tame.

So what if I get upset over things that appear trivial?
For me, nothing's a silly game...

The sun sets low on the horizon,
Conveying, relax, it all ends one day;
Why then with any realization,
Do the tears come and my composure sway?

I have my goods and bads,
I'm generous, assertive and guileless;
I am what I am,
And whoever said one has to be flawless?

I get attached to people the very first time I meet them,
So what?

I keep smiling with or without reason,
So what?

I'm possessive and rude when provoked,
So what?

I feel betrayed and hurt when those that I love,
Adore something else more than me;
Their passion, ego or a plaything,
Even their family.

I do unreasonable, absurd things,
Like wanting those that don't want me.

I'm responsible and protective,
And I hate the fact that I'm so sensitive...

They call me stubborn and self-centred,
Though they know of my jolly, sweet nature,
Doesn't bother me... Whoever wants to please them all...
Not me for sure!

Or do I??

What matters finally
Is that I know I'm wonderful,
I know my weaknesses,
And that's my greatest strength...

I am me...

Silence

And then, Pinkoo asked Punkoo, "How you doing?"

"Fine."

"Hows life - your college , health, friend circle...?"

"Okay."

"Hmm..."

(Silence)

"Hows ur life - settled in the college and everything?

"Yeah. It's a very different experience, but I like it."

"Good."

"Hmm."

(Silence)


"So, Punkoo... Who's been giving you the strength to stay away from me?"

(Silence)

"Who's giving you the energy to be without me?"

(Silence)


Some questions are left unanswered...

Some relations end despite the love and commitment being evergreen...

What happens to the people?

Silence...

That invincible silence...