It is so easy to ignore someone when you don't know them.
Or for that matter when that person is out of sight.
"Dekh ke andekha karna" - now that is one of my weak points, or shall I say "Areas of Opportunity"
Doesn't seem so for folks around me though...
The people that co-habit a certain space with me fall in 3 categories: one, people that I am extremely comfortable and spontaneous with; two, people that know formally and adhere to limits with; and three, people that I don't really know and thus, don't often interact with.
Of late, however, I have sensed the existence of another category: the one where people from the first category go after things go awry between us, in major or silly ways.
I am, by nature, a very gregarious person. I like to be friends with everyone and I like to be on good terms with all. I feel extremely uncomfortable when I have to give or am given the cold shoulder by someone. The amount of stress I experience at such times is absolultely unbearable. And the worst part is, it does not seem to affect the other person one bit.
Or at least that's what they show. Mighty successfully.
Leaving me wondering if I ever mattered in the first place.
Is there some trick to it? Some special secret that I don't know yet?
It's just like the case where after being lovers, two individuals cannot be friends. But for me, this happens even with people that are my buddies.
I know the next question you will ask is that if you are so close, how can you suddenly become so distanced and detached?
Well, I can answer that. It depends on the kind of miscommunication that has occurred. On most occasions, I readily and modestly walk up to the "friend" and start talking, clarifying things that have caused a rift. And I do not hesitate in re-connecting even if it means I have to bend over. However, bend over backwards - that I shan't. I've got my own self-respect. And if the other person's ego is supreme enough to kill a beautiful relationship, then too bad. Your loss.
Except that it impacts me worse that it does you!!
I've been told more than a few times by my GENUINE friends and well-wishers that I ought to keep safe distance and not get emotionally attached to everyone in my social circle. Quite a sane suggestion.
But how do I explain that it's not voluntary - this decision to get affected by what people say or do... I get impacted by their words and behavior, they have the ability to make me happy or sad, and I like it that way... except when it gets really bad... and hurts... beyond my control...
I guess that's the price I have to pay for being so open and sensitive.
Big or small, I'm not saying. It gives me as many laughs as tears, give or take a few, and both are entirely worth it :-)
Having said that, I do wish that people understand that their actions and sentences might hurt others. Why make someone miserable? Why steal smiles if you are unable to give joys in return? In fact, why give sorrow at all irrespective of the number of delights exchanged?
I once heard, "it's not possible to cover the world with a carpet, so wear chappals". I also remember a saying that goes like this - "Expecting the world to treat you fairly is like asking a tiger not to eat you because you are vegetarian". While both these thoughts are bang on target, I still fail to follow them.
I know he’s mine. And he loves me more than anyone else ever could.
He watches out for me, takes care of me, and nurtures me when even I don’t need him.
He backs me whenever I do anything, and he forgives me a million times.
I owe it to him.
Our relation’s just like any other except for one fact.
We fight, we argue, we laugh, we talk, we abuse, we work together, we cry, we bitch and we appreciate... Just like others…
But we never let go.
I stick to him, and he stands by me all the friggin’ time.
Yeah, we have our share of tiffs where I ask him to keep off, calling him names and telling him he’s a no-good-sucker and I’m better off without him. That I don’t need him, and I would manage on my own, thank you very much.
He doesn’t sulk, he doesn’t justify or shout back. He just smiles.
And I say, “Grrr… why don’t you just FO…?!” and walk away.
A couple of days later, I find myself back in his arms.
He doesn’t call me, I don’t ask to be called. It just happens. I turn to him, and he quietly embraces me as if we’d always been that way. With the same smile on his face that I’d seen when I left.
Funny how his smiles appear to mock at times and convey strength on other occasions.
Really, I’m a fool to even judge his intentions.
He’s ALWAYS right.
And the craziest bit is, even if he seems to be wrong, situations modify themselves to prove him right! He can make miracles happen... and you can do nothing to stop what he bids...
Some conspiracy, I tell you. I don’t know how he does it.
Even if I cajole or fight back, he doesn’t do anything that would prove difficult or critical for me, either immediately or in the long run. He’s got a keen eye for detail and he can see far ahead than the most reliable prophet. Even if it means he’ll have to put up with my hatred and sorrow and anger, he still does what is right for me, not just going by what I want.
“Thank you” and “sorry” are words that I sometimes utter, but I know he doesn’t need to hear them. My feelings matter to him, but not at the cost of my well-being. His dedication and loyalty to me are extraordinary.
Call it faith, call it being stupid.
can’t say our relation is invisible; I can sense it, and so can others who care to look.
It’s beautiful, this thing we have.
I don’t know what I’d do without him.
Really.
And having known him so long, and so well, there’s no way we’re ever gonna part.
Come what may.
I love you
Yours forever,
(Want to expand your vocabulary? A man-hater is a misandrist and a woman-hater is a misogynist.)
Know what? Just like men want to fool around with a sexy siren and marry a virgin, girls want to date boys and finally wed a gentleman. Fair enough, eh?
Anyways, let me wish all you female readers a VERY HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY.
(I know ladies say they don’t think just ONE day needs to be celebrated, but they love the pampering nevertheless, so let the passion flow!)
And the men who are reading this, move your butt and start wishing the feminine folk around you.
(They’ll hate you less, though they might poke fun at your sentimental side. So they laugh at your expense and start liking you; not that bad a deal, right?)
Here are a few ways to make your woman feel special today… some that I’ve thought of myself, and others that I’ve picked off the net. Oh, and you might check out 10 things while you’re still reading this…
1. Tell her you love her. A hundred times. (You do that already? All right, make it a million. Don’t stop.)
2. Do something to surprise her. (I mean surprise, NOT shock.) So, give her flowers or buy her chocolates or anything else that she likes. It could even be not leaving the towel and dirty linen around or taking her out for an impromptu coffee or drive. Or even keeping everything aside and spending some quality time just listening to her…
3. Tell her how special she is, and how your life is so much better because of her. Make her feel wanted and adored. Thank her for her commitment and sacrifices. And mean it. Saying sorry is not such a bad thing…
4. Treat her the same as your friends. Of course, give her more priority and be protective and courteous, but don’t make her think that you relax and enjoy more with your gang than with her. Share your problems and plans, and make her feel involved and respected. Take her opinions and know her desires. After all, she loves you! Don’t make her feel taken for granted, disrespected or not taken seriously. And most importantly, DON’T treat anyone else the same as you treat her. Let her be the sole recipient of all your excesses and granted liberties.
5. Let people “see” that you love her. Oh yes! A woman thinks a lot about what others think of her and her relationships. So, if you can show that your love “shows”, then she can’t argue that she cannot “see” your love. Confused? Don’t bother. Just do it. Private compliments, praise in public, light PDA like holding hands and caressing her (if appropriate), chivalry and romance – bring it on!
Well, five is a good number for starters, and if you can do all of the above, I can guarantee you a more blissful relationship with your partner.
Right, ladies? ;-)
And if there’s NO one to make you feel special, why weep? DIY or Do It Yourself is the name of the game… Watch a movie alone and eat all the popcorn yourself (WOW! No sharing!), go shopping and buy something unusual like a weird shade of lipstick or corset, or just take a quiet walk in the park or sit by the lake… Life is beautiful and you’re your favorite person!
Love ya!
”
"I’m going to imprison you,
Neither friends nor family can you see,
All you shall have here, is me.
With me can you talk,
With me you’ll live alone,
I promise I’ll make you smile,
And to wipe your tears, I’ll do all that’s pure and vile.
But no one else can you call upon,
Though you command all that your heart wants,
Except for other humans, coz I can’t share you,
You’re too precious, too pretty, I can’t let you go.
I can’t risk you enjoying with another,
And refusing to return to me,
And even if you do, your heart will not be mine,
And I’d die rather than see you unhappy...
No! You must remain in this cage, this golden cage,
And I promise to keep you satisfied.”
"Ok”, said the princess,
"I love you, and I recognize how much you love me,
I don’t need anything else, except to be here with you.”
Alas, the foolish girl,
So innocent and short-sighted.
Life is funny and weird,
And our needs and desires even more so...
What seems so right one moment, looks ridiculous at another time,
And what one so deeply craves, turns out to be a curse.
"I miss my home”, the dainty lass said,
"It’s been so many weeks,
I want to see those that loved me,
And knew me much before we met...
I shall be back in a day’s time, I promise
Let me go, and I’ll return soon.”
The demon trembled, not a whisper escaped his lips,
After all, how long can one hold the clouds, the wind, the river...
He knew this would happen someday.
How could he refuse her, the one he lived and breathed for,
"Just a day”, she murmured, “A day, and not a second more.”
His eyes glistened with unwept tears
As he held her close, and felt her warmth,
He couldn’t let those drops flow,
Coz his princess’ last reflection was in them.
His heart wailed as he nodded,
“Ok my sweetheart,
I am your slave and I must obey.”
When one wishes something,
How fruitful is it to refuse?
Isn’t thinking it and doing it nearly the same?
Wouldn’t it sow the seed of sorrow and hurt?
"I love you,” he uttered, “always will”
Her hood fluttering in the breeze,
She disappeared over the horizon.
A day passed, and the princess thought,
"I guess another won’t hurt.”
And thus a week flew.
The princess enjoyed her new company,
Though she missed her crazy lover,
"I’ll surely leave tomorrow,” she kept telling herself,
But aren’t promises made to be broken?
She thought of him each day,
And how he worshipped her,
As the new month drew near,
She realized life wouldn’t be the same without him.
"I must go,” she said,
As her family bid adieu,
With arms open she flew,
To embrace the one who could die for her,
Or kill if need be.
The castle echoed her calls when she spoke his name,
She ran all about looking for her lover,
Until she reached the dungeon dark.
There sat the demon,
His lips curled in a moan,
"He died the instant you were beyond sight,” sighed a friendly stork.
"He asked me to wait till you came, so I could give you this.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks,
The princess unfolded the note,
"I love you, always will.
And I can’t bear my heart that beats without you...
I wish there was another way;
A way to be in your arms forever,
And watch you as you try to be funny and clever.
I look in your eyes so deep and true,
I try to imagine the dreams they construe;
They say a thousand words as they twinkle,
I read their promises unswerving and fickle.
As I walk around with my hand in yours,
I lose count of the minutes and hours;
I could live my entire life like this,
Knowing that there’s nothing I’d ever miss.
Your thoughts have me sighing all day long,
Not a moment do you leave my mind alone;
I recall and relive every second with you,
With every recollection, everything appears new.
I catch myself imagining our life together,
I look for a sign, fore and nether;
To the angel in you, my soul reaches out,
And I know it’s you, without a doubt.
A thousand what ifs cross my mind,
A million anxieties within me I find;
But when I close my eyes my heart rejoices,
And I know it’s you, amidst all the choices.
Yes, I say, I know it’s you,
This decision, never shall I rue;
Life’s not perfect, no one said it was,
But with you, I know, the bliss won’t pause.
I know I shall smile,
I know there will flights of bile;
I know I’ll sob for you to go away,
But I also know that you shall stay.
I’ll be your mum when you trip on your trail,
I’ll be your best friend when plans fail;
I’ll exult like a wife when things go right,
I’ll be your cheeky partner all through the night.
We’ve both been in love before,
We’ve had our fun and tears galore;
And yet when I see that smile on your face,
I know this time it’s for real, and all fears efface…
If not love, then what is it,
For you, that makes me yearn and posit;
As long as you pledge to be just mine,
I vow, in my sky, you’ll be the only star to shine.
I cry myself to sleep this night
I don’t know what I’m waiting for,
Seeking peace and a little joy
Neither jewels and luxuries nor.
This day is not the same as I wearily tread,
Till dusk from dawn,
The days of adventure and reckless abandon,
Are so long gone.
Had I been a tad more desperate,
I’d surrender myself to God
I’d have given up on my existence,
No matter if it’s craven or odd...
I know no one’s content,
That nobody leads a life ideal,
But somehow being in my shoes,
The agony is much real.
I appear to have lost all hope,
As wrongdoers bask in fun and bliss,
Things that bother me no end,
Civilization seems to allow this!
As I rant on and crib,
I feel so absurd and frivolous,
I live through days dreary,
And sob through nights delirious.
Don’t get me wrong,
I ain’t complaining;
I’m sharing life with you
And for action or contentment, waiting...
But no one to call when you desperately want to speak your heart out.
Such is life...
A million bucks to spend, and no friend to blow it with,
When you had that someone, you were too busy trying to make an extra buck.
Such is life...
At times I think homosexual relations make sense,
The depth of emotions of each gender can only b understood by another of the same kind.
We fight over our differences and keep expecting to be understood.
Such is life…
The very son who dotes on the mother,
Becomes devoted to the wife in days so few.
The mom still prays for him.
Such is life…
You crib about the bad things,
And then you adjust to living in situations worse.
Your optimism and energy disappear with time.
Such is life…
When everything is wrong the smallest thing brings delight,
Something that goes unnoticed in rosier times,
Becomes the single reason to live for.
Such is life…
Good things don’t really happen to good people,
Though we would sure like to believe so.
The wicked and wayward laugh more often.
Such is life…
You smile for the world,
And show you really don’t care.
But you nurture the hurts within you…
This is life...
Happy New Year :)
