I don’t seem to be so anymore…
Does that bother you?
You took your call by walking outta my life,
Not caring how I felt, or how I’d survive,
Now that I’ve found greater happiness in your absence…
Does that bother you?
You believed I was lonely,
Yet the exuberance in my league is deafening…
Does that bother you?
You were the centre of my universe,
And you threw it all away,
My having decided to not punish myself any longer…
Does that bother you?
You considered me understanding and different,
And came close to me, saying we were meant to be…
Does that bother you?
Memories of times bygone linger in my mind,
I’m sure they’re in your trash bins rotting away,
As I create moments of joy with those around you…
Does that bother you?
As I watch you stroll and smirk,
I believe you’re happy or at least pretending…
Does that bother you?
I still cringe when I feel your eyes on me,
Your voice and presence make me go insane,
For all my moving on, I still keep coming back…
Does that bother you?
It bothers me…
And your being bothered or not,
Doesn’t matter anymore.
Coz I know I’m meant to be happy,
And I know I deserve better;
You lost something precious that you didn’t value,
And trust me… it shall someday bother you…
When I lie cosy and happy with the one that treasures me.
I promise I will.
You… but who cares?
I know he’s mine. And he loves me more than anyone else ever could.
He watches out for me, takes care of me, and nurtures me when even I don’t need him.
He backs me whenever I do anything, and he forgives me a million times.
I owe it to him.
Our relation’s just like any other except for one fact.
We fight, we argue, we laugh, we talk, we abuse, we work together, we cry, we bitch and we appreciate... Just like others…
But we never let go.
I stick to him, and he stands by me all the friggin’ time.
Yeah, we have our share of tiffs where I ask him to keep off, calling him names and telling him he’s a no-good-sucker and I’m better off without him. That I don’t need him, and I would manage on my own, thank you very much.
He doesn’t sulk, he doesn’t justify or shout back. He just smiles.
And I say, “Grrr… why don’t you just FO…?!” and walk away.
A couple of days later, I find myself back in his arms.
He doesn’t call me, I don’t ask to be called. It just happens. I turn to him, and he quietly embraces me as if we’d always been that way. With the same smile on his face that I’d seen when I left.
Funny how his smiles appear to mock at times and convey strength on other occasions.
Really, I’m a fool to even judge his intentions.
He’s ALWAYS right.
And the craziest bit is, even if he seems to be wrong, situations modify themselves to prove him right! He can make miracles happen... and you can do nothing to stop what he bids...
Some conspiracy, I tell you. I don’t know how he does it.
Even if I cajole or fight back, he doesn’t do anything that would prove difficult or critical for me, either immediately or in the long run. He’s got a keen eye for detail and he can see far ahead than the most reliable prophet. Even if it means he’ll have to put up with my hatred and sorrow and anger, he still does what is right for me, not just going by what I want.
“Thank you” and “sorry” are words that I sometimes utter, but I know he doesn’t need to hear them. My feelings matter to him, but not at the cost of my well-being. His dedication and loyalty to me are extraordinary.
Call it faith, call it being stupid.
can’t say our relation is invisible; I can sense it, and so can others who care to look.
It’s beautiful, this thing we have.
I don’t know what I’d do without him.
Really.
And having known him so long, and so well, there’s no way we’re ever gonna part.
Come what may.
I love you
Yours forever,
(No, not coz the festival of colors is here, and you need to watch out for sneaking eyes and peeking hands ready to douse you with rang and gulaal.... Best wishes for Holi, readers!)
Read this anonymous letter I found the other day.
Me frustrated. Me donno what to do. Me think I kill myself. Or I just die. I do no want to live. Nobody like me. Nobody need me. All think me bad person. Me care for people, people do no understand, people fight. Me get angry. Me hurt people. My life no good. Me no trouble no one still people no like me. Me brave and stubborn. Me also blunt and intelligent. So many say me good, me reach success, me capable. But me no happy. Me alone, me sad. I donno fault. How can all world be wrong? No. Me wrong. Me end life. Me got no guts, so me live on.
Interesting, eh? Especially the last line... Do you need guts to kill yourself, or do you need balls to survive?
I guess it’s that split second where you are so depressed and frustrated, that you muster all your valor to sacrifice your life. If that second passes, you’re never gona be able to do it again. So, in a way, death and life – both need courage. (Though of course, if anyone suicidal were to approach me, I’d say that suicide is for cowards, and one ought to live on to fight and overcome challenges.)
Eager to know your thoughts on this, friends and readers. And on the following points, too...
Like why a woman in power is subject to prejudice and contempt for no real reason. Why a divorced/widowed woman is looked down upon by society more critically than a male. Why a female who flirts and sleeps around is called a bitch, while a man doing the same is considered nothing abominable. Why when enjoying sex (which is logically and in reality the privilege of both genders), a woman is expected to be coy and her sole duty in bed is to satisfy her man, regardless of her own pleasures and needs. Why a woman who commits a crime evokes horror, while a man in her shoes gets the “chalta hai” gesture.
WHY??
Society assumes several things about a woman, and expects these assumptions to hold true whatever the case may be. Given the superior education, exposure, lifestyle, family and upbringing. How fair is this?? Who decided it to be this way? Why are we still falling prey to this bias? Is gender equality only a myth? True, the topmost positions in the world in all areas are held by men (and I congratulate them on that), but why cannot we tolerate vices in females, too?!!
We’re all human, right?!!!
Cheerio!
